It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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