i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
