just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
PANTIES FOUND
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