i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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