Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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