"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
