dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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