what day is it and did you see me today?
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
