You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Randomize
