I puked a lego.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Randomize
