I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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