My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
lets start a swedish sibling band together
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Drunk is not a location!
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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