dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
My balls are so social today.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize