You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
It's shark week go big or go home
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
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