when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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