You really coming over, don't trick.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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