Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Randomize
