Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
