The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
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