Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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