Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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