Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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