so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Randomize
