I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
