So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
