i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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