it wasn't lemon gatorade
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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