New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
