he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
3pm strippers are depressing
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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