The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize