When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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