go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
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