if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Sex in the backyard? Check.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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