just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
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Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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