Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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