New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Boobs are out for the taking
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
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