i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
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