im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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