I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
