My nipple is on Facebook.
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
