I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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