if you like me you must not know who I am
she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
