If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Randomize
