he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
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