Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Randomize
