If i come over, it means nothing
I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
