Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
