Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Randomize
