I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
