NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize