I don't usually arrange sex via text message
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
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a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
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