My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
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