i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
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