just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Randomize
