i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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