I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Randomize