So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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