Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
do nipples grow back?
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