ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
