I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
