I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize