the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
