why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
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